But would I truly forgive myself if I did not give this woman what she deserved? No.I drag her over to the table she had strapped me to so many times before. It is not easy lifting her body onto it, but I am too full of vindictive fury to care. I strip her bare of rubber and tie her in a starfish-like position. She is waking up, so I watch her. I want to look into her fearful eyes. To hear her screams of dread. To feel her terror course through her body. Her eyes slowly flit open. She quickly. "Will you do it?" She gave a little bow. "I am sorry, anh, I do not mean to push." It's okay, Amy." I set the laptop on an end table and patted the bed next to me. "Come here. Sit down." She sat down, instantly, and looked intently at me. "Um, well, okay." I took a deep breath. I wasn't sure if this would work without the extra special whammy of the seizures and the tumor. She was still staring. "Imagine how Alicia felt when she was in a trance, imagine how you'd think a trance should feel.. My flow slowly came to an end and I shook off. I put my pants back on and stood in front of the sink, rinsing my hands. As I stared into the mirror I told myself "Never again. This stops now." Intoxication is no excuse for what I did, and I can't let it happen anymore.When I returned to the kitchen Jason had my mug of coffee waiting for me. I could also smell the toast he'd started."So before you say anything" he said, unprompted. "I just want to let you know that I really enjoyed last night.. "Don't you want me as a wife?"He smiled at her desperation."I do, but I kinda like all the sneaking about," he whispered. "It makes me horny as hell."She began a firmer movement between his legs."I'm listening, Baby."He paused in thought."Okay. So, I think you should go back and apologize; say you've been under great stress at work and you're taking time off. I want you to cover up more around the house when he's home. Wear unflattering old stuff. But when he goes out, you get yourself dolled.
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